Its Too Dark

Been deteriorating for a couple of weeks already and seems gone for too long. Living the days  that I couldn’t eat well, and now just dreaming of vomit-free days, nights or even at dawns, days filled with friend’s laughter, or even the exciting thoughts of a beautiful baby to cuddle. Still laying down the wholeday in front of an empty wall hoping not to throw up again and again and again!My room gone wild, my color white Japanese-spitz dog turns brown. Its too difficult to look on the bright side of things now, Im so tired heaving up all those different kinds of dry crackers and ice chips all day long assuming just to make it all feel better but again– i missed the feeling of feeling it all better. Even getting myself to the toilet for the tenth time barely coudn’t do it, so having my sinkage along with me all day for 2months is such a necessity. With those continuous nausea, vomiting and hypersalivation weren’t enough! much more of the complaints.. back aches, never ending fatigue, toothache and everyday headache. Everything hurts, feeling so miserable and lonely. My body is dragging me down and everyday everything is terribly wrong! Couldn’t help myself to slide down into that rough road of isolation. As if everyday makes it all impossible to see any rosy outlook– just couldn’t find my silverling.

IMG_2680.JPG